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Full Online Book HomePoemsThe Urban Rat And The Suburban Rat
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The Urban Rat And The Suburban Rat Post by :burtona Category :Poems Author :Guy Wetmore Carryl Date :June 2011 Read :1751

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The Urban Rat And The Suburban Rat

A metropolitan rat invited
His country cousin in town to dine:
The country cousin replied, "Delighted."
And signed himself, "Sincerely thine."
The town rat treated the country cousin
To half a dozen
Kinds of wine.

He served him terrapin, kidneys devilled,
And roasted partridge, and candied fruit;
In Little Neck Clams at first they revelled,
And then in Pommery, _sec_ and _brut_;
The country cousin exclaimed: "Such feeding
Proclaims your breeding
Beyond dispute!"

But just as, another bottle broaching,
They came to chicken _en casserole_
A ravenous cat was heard approaching,
And, passing his guest a finger-bowl,
The town rat murmured, "The feast is ended."
And then descended
The nearest hole.

His cousin followed him, helter-skelter,
And, pausing beneath the pantry floor,
He glanced around at their dusty shelter
And muttered, "This is a beastly bore.
My place as an epicure resigning,
I'll try this dining
In town no more.

"You must dine some night at my rustic cottage;
I'll warn you now that it's simple fare:
A radish or two, a bowl of pottage,
And the wine that's known as _ordinaire_,
But for holes I haven't to make a bee-line,
No prowling feline
Molests me there.

"You smile at the lot of a mere commuter,
You think that my life is hard, mayhap,
But I'm sure than you I am far acuter:
I ain't afraid of no cat nor trap."
The city rat could but meekly stammer,
"Don't use such grammar,
My worthy chap."

He dined next night with his poor relation,
And caught dyspepsia, and lost his train,
He waited an hour in the lonely station,
And said some things that were quite profane.
"I'll never," he cried, in tones complaining,
"Try entertaining
That rat again."

It's easy to make a memorandum
About THE MORAL these verses teach:
_De gustibus non est disputandum;_
The meaning of which Etruscan speech
Is wheresoever you're hunger quelling
Pray keep your dwelling
In easy reach.

(The end)
Guy Wetmore Carryl's poem: Urban Rat And The Suburban Rat

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The Lament The Lament

The Lament
Occasioned by the unfortunate issue of a Friend's Amour. Alas! how oft does goodness would itself, And sweet affection prove the spring of woe! Home. O thou pale orb that silent shines While care-untroubled mortals sleep! Thou seest a wretch who inly pines. And wanders here to wail and weep! With woe I nightly vigils keep, Beneath thy wan, unwarming beam;

To Ruin To Ruin

To Ruin
All hail! inexorable lord! At whose destruction-breathing word, The mightiest empires fall! Thy cruel, woe-delighted train, The ministers of grief and pain, A sullen welcome, all! With stern-resolv'd, despairing eye, I see each aimed dart; For one has cut my dearest tie, And quivers in my heart. Then low'ring, and pouring, The storm no more I dread;