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The Kaiser Again Consults Fritz Post by :dlewis Category :Poems Author :Abner Cosens Date :November 2011 Read :3394

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The Kaiser Again Consults Fritz

Mine dear Fritz,--Your advice ven I take,
Und I try dot goot beace talk to shtart,
Den dose fellers all call it a fake,
For dey say it don't come from mine heart;
Vat's de ting to do next, I don't know,
Mit dose bull-headed English und French,
Dey shoost tink dey're de whole of de show
Since they pounded us oudt of some trench.

Dey are licking us now britty fast,
Like I nefer could tink dey vill do,
Mit beeg guns dey now haf us out-classed,
Und mit airships und teufel tanks too.
Ve must all de hard hammering take
For dose Bulgars und Turks vas no goot,
Seems like now von beeg blunder ve make
Und de game ve haf not undershtoodt.

Ven ve tink ve vill get some more oil,
Und de oats, und potatoes, and meat,
All dose tings de Roumanians shpoil
Shoost so soon as ve make dem redreat;
Und mine shlack brudder, Tino of Greece,
He gets batted all ofer der ground,
Ven he shtrikes he goes oudt on first base,
Und makes nefer de run all around.

Britty soon, Fritz, ve someting must do,
Or already ve all vill be killed,
For dose English haf put on de screw
Und our stomachs are nefer half filled.
Vat you tink of dis plan, mine dear Fritz,
In mine head dat already I get,
Dat I take back again Von Tirpitz,
Und Herr Teufel in partnership yet?

(The end)
Abner Cosens's poem: Kaiser Again Consults Fritz

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Fritz Warns The Kaiser Fritz Warns The Kaiser

Fritz Warns The Kaiser
Mine dear Kaiser,--Dose tings vas a fake, Ven you shtart oop dat untersea show Und already a pardnership make Mit Von Tirpitz, Von Teufel and Co. Ven de try dis same game vonce pefore, Soon ve lose all dose subs dat ve had, Und dis time ve vill lose dem some more, For now even dose Yanks haf got mad. Some advice I vould give to you yet,

When Will It End When Will It End

When Will It End
November, 1916Von Krink tells Fritz when the War will end. Ven you tinks dis beeg var vill get done? (Dat's de ting you hear efryone say.) Britty soon vill dey lay down de gun, So I home mit Katrina can shtay? Vell, I tells you mine friends, vot I tink, Dat de Kaiser don't know, nor de Czar, So I shpeak mit dat feller, Von Krink, Shoost how soon