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Full Online Book HomePoemsNothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Earthly
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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Earthly Post by :Laurence_Baker Category :Poems Author :Horatio Alger Date :May 2012 Read :2946

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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Earthly

No matter how costly or flimsy her dresses,
The angel you honor with your kind attentions;
No matter how foolish her wardrobe inventions,
You love her, or say so, from slipper to tresses;
But, presto! you call her the greatest of sinners,
Though smiling, she treats you to badly cooked dinners;
Which proves where the seat is of men's best affections,
With which 'pon their honor they extol us as wives,
And treat us at dinner with sagest reflections,
Of beauty, and duty we owe all our lives
To you, noble lords, of this mundane creation;
Which, judging from some things they tell us,
Was made for the creatures of this trading nation,
Who make it a business to buy us and sell us,
Like 'Erie,' or 'Central,' or other such stocks;
With care, when they bid for a very 'Miss Nancy,'
That she's of a stock that the brokers call 'fancy,'
Or else has a pocket 'chuck full of the rocks'--
The rocks that are wrecking each day of their sailing,
More fortunes than ever in ocean were swallowed;
Where 'ventures' of marriage their victims impaling
With mammon and mis'ry together have wallowed.
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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Eatable
Now Colonel, to husband you need not be winking,While wiping the soup with a smile from your lips;I know just as well as he does how you're thinkingThe soup is as tasteless as though made of chips.You need not deny it, and swear that no betterConcocted was ever in London or Paris;Remember the praises you gave in your letterOf cooking and eating you wrote to Miss Harris.Now, Colonel, don't offer a word more to flatter--The soup may be so-so, but wait for the meat;And after you've seen the last dish, plate, or platter,You'll own then, I'm certain, we've nothing to eat--That
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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle goes to Market
With prices outrageous they charge now for meat,And servants so worthless are every day growing,I wonder we get half enough now to eat,And shouldn't if 't want for the fact of my goingTo market to cheapen potatoes and beef,And talk to the butchers about their abuses,And listen to stories beyond our belief,They tell while they cheat us, by way of excuses.And grocers--do tell us--is 't legal to chargeSuch prices for sugar, and butter, and flour?Oh, why don't the Mayor in his wisdom enlargeBoth weight and measure as he does 'doubtful power?'
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