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Full Online Book HomePoemsNothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Describeth her Doctor
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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Describeth her Doctor Post by :Laurence_Baker Category :Poems Author :Horatio Alger Date :May 2012 Read :2248

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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Describeth her Doctor

But he's an old fogy, you may know by this sign--
He don't smoke tobacco, drink lager or wine;
And swears that rich gravy, roast pork or chop,
Would kill a big ostrich, if stuffed in his crop.

He told me one day 'bout the pain in my feet,
'I see what 't is ails you--you've nothing to eat!'

Provoking, absurd, foolish hint that my health
Was injured by eating what station and wealth
And fashion give right for my sex to enjoy
In spite of the doctors we choose to employ.

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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth again on Dinner Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth again on Dinner

Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth again on Dinner
But you are not eating, and I fear that the fish,Or else 't is the gravy's not done to your wish.You're starving while waiting for something to eat--Thank fortune I told you how poorly we live--I hope John now will give us a piece of roast meat,Or else such a dinner you'd never forgive.Why yes, Merdle, look, there is beef on that dish--Jane Hill, don't you see, there's a plate here to shift--That John is now bringing--'t is all he can lift--And Colonel, that turkey, you know 't is my wish--You know that Excelsior's your motto in carving--As nothing more now
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Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Hygiene and Fish Sauce Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Hygiene and Fish Sauce

Nothing To Eat - Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Hygiene and Fish Sauce
But this is concocted by rules so complete;Though piquant, is healthy and easy digested;And if you will note it as slowly we eat,The contents I'll give for our friends interested.Imprimus: in fish stock, an onion we stew,And anchovy essence two spoonfuls we add;With butter, horse-radish, and lemons a few;Mushrooms, too, in ketchup is not very bad;And pickle of walnuts with onions chopped fine,To which there is added some old sherry wine.My doctor, so queer, when I suffer distress,Inquires what I've latterly foolishly eaten,And swears that to swallow this 'horrible mess,'Would entitle a dog like a dog to be beaten.But la! such
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