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Full Online Book HomePoemsNothing To Eat - He Imploreth Mercy upon those condemned with fashionable folly to
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Nothing To Eat - He Imploreth Mercy upon those condemned with fashionable folly to Post by :Laurence_Baker Category :Poems Author :Horatio Alger Date :May 2012 Read :1618

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Nothing To Eat - He Imploreth Mercy upon those condemned with fashionable folly to

Marry, and Illustrateth their Condition.


Now heaven in mercy be kind to the wretch,
Who marries for money or fashion or folly;
He'd better accept of the noose of Jack Ketch
Than such a "help-meet;" or at once marry Dolly
The cook, or with Bridget, the maid of the broom;
With one he'd be sure to get coffee and meat,
And never hear whining of nothing to eat,
And 't other would make up his bed and his room;
And if he was blest with a child now and then,
As happens sometimes with your fashionable wives,
Who're coupled to bipeds, in nature called men,
He'd need no insurance to warrant their lives;
And need no expense of a grand "bridal tour,"
Or visit each season at "watering places,"
Where fashion at people well known to be poor,
In money or station, will make ugly faces;
Where women, though married, with roues will flirt;
Where widows, though widows in fresh sable weeds,
Spread nets that entangle like old Nessus' shirt
And finish with Burdell and Cunningham deeds;
Where daughters when fading are taken to spend
A month at the springs, or a week in salt water;
Where bachelors flirting on Ellen attend,
Are whispered by mamma, "engaged to my daughter."

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Now heaven in mercy be kind to the wretchesWho stay on the earth like this Mrs. Merdle!More wretched than ever a wretch on the hurdleWas drawn by all England's official Jack Ketches;More wretched, if can be, at church on a SundayA woman, who worships, than God, more her dress,Would be if she heard or e'en thought Mrs. GrundyWould sneer at the set of a bonnet or tress;Or say that she thought Miss Freelove's new patternOf laces, or collars, or yard flowing sleeves,Looked more like the dress of a real Miss SlatternAnd not "so becoming"'s the first one of Eve's.
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"What else do they live for in this world beside?"What else but for Kittys or one of the same,Do mothers their daughters at schools give the touchThat leaves them to live as a wife but in nameWhile position and fashion they frantically clutch.What else do they live for, our girls so refined,So forward, precocious, and gifted at tenThey are flirting and courting and things of the kind,That never came under our grandmother's ken.At fifteen so dressed up, and hooped up, I ween,They're mothers full often before they're sixteen,And fading and dowdy and sickly at twenty,With one boy in trowsers and two
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