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Fritz Has Another Grouch Post by :freclik Category :Poems Author :Abner Cosens Date :November 2011 Read :2463

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Fritz Has Another Grouch

(The Germans say that if it hadn't been for the Canadian Rats they would have got through to Calais.--News Item.)

Dere's a ting dat I'll nefer furshtay.
Ven ve shtart oop dat goot poison gas,
Vy dose Rats don't get oudt of de vay,
So us Shermans to Ypres can pass.
Ven ve shoots all our cartridge avay,
Dat's already deir time to retreat;
Vot's de use so ve make de beeg fight,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get beat?

Mit de gas dey gets britty soon killed,
Den ve send dem de shrapnel some more,
Und de bombshell mit limburger filled,
Dat vill shmell vorse dan Duffeldorf's shtore;
But dose beggars come back mit a rush,
Und I twice mit deir bay'nets get pricked;
Vot's de use so ve make de beeg push,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get licked?

I soon made some goot running, you pet!
Ven dey come like vild teufels behind;
All my life I vill dream of dem yet,
For I tought sure mine bapers vos signed.
Dey came on mit a yump und a yell
Till right into our trenches dey dashed;
Vot's de use so ve trow de beeg shell,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get smashed?

Ve haf tried efry blan dat ve knows,
But to scare dem no vay haf ve found,
(How ve vish dey had shtayed vere de snows
Blow dose maples und pines all around).
Day und night dey vill put oop de shcrap,
Und already ve lose vot ve got;
Vot's de use for us setting de trap,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get caught.

(The end)
Abner Cosens's poem: Fritz Has Another Grouch

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The Kaiser Consults Fritz The Kaiser Consults Fritz

The Kaiser Consults Fritz
October, 1915 Ven der Kaiser vould shtart some beeg shtunt, All dose shwells den soon come to de front, Und de prince, und de king Seem to be de whole ting, Mit old Fritz at de heel of de hunt. But somedimes ven de Kaiser's in doubt, Und already can't find his vay oudt; Ven dose hard shpots he hits, Den he say--"Mine dear Fritz,

Fritz Finds Fault Fritz Finds Fault

Fritz Finds Fault
("Canadians are using lacrosse sticks to throw hand grenades into German trenches."--News Item.) "Dere is some tings not right in dis schrap, For dose English and French don't fight fair Ven dey pring in de Turco and Jap Und de Hindu and beeg Russian bear; But already us goot Sherman mans Ve vas ending dot var britty quick, Till dey shtart oop some more dirty blans, Ven dose poys