Full Online Books
BOOK CATEGORIES
Authors Authors Short Stories Short Stories Long Stories Long Stories Funny Stories Funny Stories Love Stories Love Stories Stories For Kids Stories For Kids Poems Poems Essays Essays Nonfictions Nonfictions Plays Plays Folktales Folktales Fairy Tales Fairy Tales Fables Fables Learning Kitchen Learning Kitchen
LINKS
Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Free Classified Website Without Registration Free Classified Website Daniel Company
Twitter Twitter Add book
donate
Full Online Book HomeNonfictionsCurious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE APPROACHING EPIDEMIC
Famous Authors (View All Authors)
Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE APPROACHING EPIDEMIC Post by :empower Category :Nonfictions Author :Mark Twain Date :April 2011 Read :2095

Click below to download : Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE APPROACHING EPIDEMIC (Format : PDF)

Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE APPROACHING EPIDEMIC

One calamity to which the death of Mr. Dickens dooms this country has not
awakened the concern to which its gravity entitles it. We refer to the
fact that the nation is to be lectured to death and read to death all
next winter, by Tom, Dick, and Harry, with poor lamented Dickens for a
pretext. All the vagabonds who can spell will afflict the people with
"readings" from Pickwick and Copperfield, and all the insignificants who
have been ennobled by the notice of the great novelist or transfigured by
his smile will make a marketable commodity of it now, and turn the sacred
reminiscence to the practical use of procuring bread and butter. The
lecture rostrums will fairly swarm with these fortunates. Already the
signs of it are perceptible. Behold how the unclean creatures are
wending toward the dead lion and gathering to the feast:

"Reminiscences of Dickens." A lecture. By John Smith, who heard him
read eight times.

"Remembrances of Charles Dickens." A lecture. By John Jones, who saw
him once in a street car and twice in a barber shop.

"Recollections of Mr. Dickens." A lecture. By John Brown, who gained a
wide fame by writing deliriously appreciative critiques and rhapsodies
upon the great author's public readings; and who shook hands with the
great author upon various occasions, and held converse with him several
times.

"Readings from Dickens." By John White, who has the great delineator's
style and manner perfectly, having attended all his readings in this
country and made these things a study, always practising each reading
before retiring, and while it was hot from the great delineator's lips.
Upon this occasion Mr. W. will exhibit the remains of a cigar which he
saw Mr. Dickens smoke. This Relic is kept in a solid silver box made
purposely for it.

"Sights and Sounds of the Great Novelist." A popular lecture. By John
Gray, who waited on his table all the time he was at the Grand Hotel,
New York, and still has in his possession and will exhibit to the
audience a fragment of the Last Piece of Bread which the lamented author
tasted in this country.

"Heart Treasures of Precious Moments with Literature's Departed Monarch."
A lecture. By Miss Serena Amelia Tryphenia McSpadden, who still wears,
and will always wear, a glove upon the hand made sacred by the clasp of
Dickens. Only Death shall remove it.

"Readings from Dickens." By Mrs. J. O'Hooligan Murphy, who washed for
him.

"Familiar Talks with the Great Author." A narrative lecture. By John
Thomas, for two weeks his valet in America.

And so forth, and so on. This isn't half the list. The man who has a
"Toothpick once used by Charles Dickens" will have to have a hearing; and
the man who "once rode in an omnibus with Charles Dickens;" and the lady
to whom Charles Dickens "granted the hospitalities of his umbrella during
a storm;" and the person who "possesses a hole which once belonged in a
handkerchief owned by Charles Dickens." Be patient and long-suffering,
good people, for even this does not fill up the measure of what you must
endure next winter. There is no creature in all this land who has had
any personal relations with the late Mr. Dickens, however slight or
trivial, but will shoulder his way to the rostrum and inflict his
testimony upon his helpless countrymen. To some people it is fatal to be
noticed by greatness.

If you like this book please share to your friends :
NEXT BOOKS

Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE TONE-IMPARTING COMMITTEE Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE TONE-IMPARTING COMMITTEE

Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - THE TONE-IMPARTING COMMITTEE
I get old and ponderously respectable, only one thing will be able tomake me truly happy, and that will be to be put on the Venerable Tone-Imparting committee of the city of New York, and have nothing to do butsit on the platform, solemn and imposing, along with Peter Cooper, HoraceGreeley, etc., etc., and shed momentary fame at second hand on obscurelecturers, draw public attention to lectures which would otherwise clackeloquently to sounding emptiness, and subdue audiences into respectfulhearing of all sorts of unpopular and outlandish dogmas and isms. Thatis what I desire for the cheer and gratification of my
PREVIOUS BOOKS

Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - A ROYAL COMPLIMENT Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - A ROYAL COMPLIMENT

Curious Republic Of Gondour And Other Whimsical Sketches - A ROYAL COMPLIMENT
The latest report about the Spanish crown is, that it will now be offered to Prince Alfonso, the second son of the King of Portugal, who is but five years of age. The Spaniards have hunted through all the nations of Europe for a King. They tried to get a Portuguese in the person of Dom-Luis, who is an old ex-monarch; they tried to get an Italian, in the person of Victor Emanuel's young son, the Duke of
NEXT 10 BOOKS | PREVIOUS 10 BOOKS | RANDOM 10 BOOKS
LEAVE A COMMENT