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Full Online Book HomeLong StoriesPeck's Sunshine - They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About
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Peck's Sunshine - They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About Post by :MrsWebb Category :Long Stories Author :George W. Peck Date :May 2012 Read :3177

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Peck's Sunshine - They Don't Know What They Abe Talking About

A celebrated writer on the state of the country, has an article in a magazine, in which occurs the following paragraph:

"The defects of the New England girl may be done away with by giving less prominence to the purely intellectual or purely practical side of her education."

In the first place, we do not admit that there are any defects in the Boston girl, but if there _are defects, as is alleged by the writer above, and by other scientific persons, we do not see how giving less prominence to her intellectuality is going to do away with them. For instance, there is a defect in the girl whereby she has a shin on both sides of her lower limb, or an indentation where there should be the customary calf--we say calf advisedly, because it _is a calf, and no person need be ashamed of it, even if it _is terrible slim--we don't see how that defect can be done away with by giving less prominence to the purely practical side of her education. It does not stand to reason. Sawdust, or bran would be worth two of it.

Or, again, suppose the New England girl has no hips to speak of, or her stomach is caved in where there should be a fullness, is the giving of less prominence to the purely intellectual side of her education going to do away with these defects, or fill up the waste places and make them glad? Not much! A sack of canary seed, or a rubber air cushion, or a bale of cotton, beats the Boston idea all hollow, and we will leave it to anybody that knows anything.

Now, as to hair. Suppose the Boston girl has no more natural hair than one of these Mexican dogs, is education going to raise a crop of hair? Not by any means--she has got to buy it.

No, you Boston magazine critters can theoretically take a plain, unvarnished New England girl with these defects, and give all the prominence you want to to the practical side of her education, and you may imagine you can do away with these defects and make her pass muster in a crowd, but when you get all through she will be homely as a stone fence, and some western girl, with no defects at all, just a natural born jolly girl, with not too much education and intellectuality, will come along there, and all Boston will go crazy after her.

You fellows don't seem to know what you are talking about. Well, we don't know what we are talking about either, but we had to write something to fill up with, and girls are the easiest things in the world to write about.

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