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Post by :AaronC
Category :Funny Stories
Author :Unknown
Date :April 2012
Read :2933
Click below to download : You Must Be Single (Format : PDF)
You Must Be Single
A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna, a small jar of mayo, a small lemon and a very small box of teabags.When he came to the counter the girl at the cash register smiled at him and said;
"You must be single."
"Why, do you mean because I buy so little food?"
"No, because you're so goddamn ugly..."
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While on routine patrol... I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS"The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control It was raining.This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant. It was too hot to ride in the car.I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner... The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.Knowing the suspect had a criminal history... He puked on my uniform one night...The informant
Cop-speak Translated
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A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days? To which he replied. "That would be fine with me. Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Partying Husband
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