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Full Online Book HomeFunny StoriesYou Must Be Single
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You Must Be Single Post by :AaronC Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :3026

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You Must Be Single

A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna, a small jar of mayo, a small lemon and a very small box of teabags.

When he came to the counter the girl at the cash register smiled at him and said;

"You must be single."

"Why, do you mean because I buy so little food?"

"No, because you're so goddamn ugly..."

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Cop-speak Translated Cop-speak Translated

Cop-speak Translated
While on routine patrol... I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS"The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control It was raining.This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant. It was too hot to ride in the car.I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner... The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.Knowing the suspect had a criminal history... He puked on my uniform one night...The informant

Partying Husband Partying Husband

Partying Husband
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days? To which he replied. "That would be fine with me. Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.