Authors
Short Stories
Long Stories
Funny Stories
Love Stories
Stories For Kids
Poems
Essays
Nonfictions
Plays
Folktales
Fairy Tales
Fables
Learning Kitchen
Home
Post by :mike999
Category :Funny Stories
Author :Unknown
Date :April 2012
Read :1540
Click below to download : Rip Pillsbury (Format : PDF)
Rip Pillsbury
Dear Friends:It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection andcomplications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens ofcelebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the CaliforniaRaisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and CaptainCrunch.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend AuntJemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knewhowmuch he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filledwith many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie,wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a littleflakyat times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model formillions. Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but hewas no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. Theyhave two children, and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Life After Death
Ripper
