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Quayle Quotes Post by :RonCummings Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :3448

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Quayle Quotes

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I havewas that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could conversewith those people."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother andchild."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the samedistance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictureswhere there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, thatmeans there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind isbeing very wasteful. How true that is."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I meanin this century's history. But we all lived in this century. Ididn't live in this century."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom anddemocracy - but that could change."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president,and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world."
(The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card. (Not a beacon of literacy,though.)

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."

"I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgmentsin the Future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positionsand have a tremendous impact on history."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."

"Public speaking is very easy."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to thepolls."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riotsand the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who isto blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame forthe killings? The killers are to blame."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not havingit."

"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she stillhas a job next year."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach ourchildren."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that DanQuayle may or may not make."

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you onthe mistakes we may or may not have made."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's theimpurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"(It's) time for the human race to enter the solar system."

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Out of curiosity, Joe asked ''AL, I see you're a beer drinker, I am too! you see, we DO have something in common'' With a condescending voice, Al quipped, '' yes, of course we do Joe'' Joe then asked '' Al, why the 5 empty cans and all that cash'' Al gladly told Joe about his new program. '' Joe, since last month, I have decided to turn a new leaf and become a more accountable person, while at the same time rewarding myself for my efforts. Whenever I tell a lie, I drink a beer and put the can in