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Osama's Valentine Post by :michelle Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :2788

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Osama's Valentine

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," David says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.

"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.

"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can blow the bastard's head off."

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The Revised Official Moron Test The Revised Official Moron Test

The Revised Official Moron Test
This test is based upon typical graduation requirements at The University of Hard Knocks. It separates the dumb people from the really dumb people. Answer the following 13 questions, then scroll down and check your answers. DON'T CHEAT!!! When you are done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others. OK, here we go...... 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? 4. How many outs are there in an inning? 5. Is it legal for a man in California

Rejected Nursery Rhymes Rejected Nursery Rhymes

Rejected Nursery Rhymes
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. LITTLE MISS MUFFET Sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. It had not been the spider that crept up beside her But Little Boy Blue and his horn. SIMPLE SIMON Met a Pieman going to the fair Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "What have you got there?" Said the Pieman unto Simon