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New Math Post by :John_Williams Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :3441

Click below to download : New Math (Format : PDF)

New Math

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the
pavement: 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

52 cards: 1 decacards

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at YaleUniversity Hospital: 1 I.V. League

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Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive
I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sickI will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.This punishment is not boring and pointless.My name is not Dr. Death.I will not defame New Orleans.I will not prescribe medication.I will not bury the new kid.I will not teach others to fly.I will not bring sheep to class.A burp is not an answer.Teacher is not a

Potential Bumper Stickers Potential Bumper Stickers

Potential Bumper Stickers
1. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole. 2. Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings." 3. The proctologist called...they found your head. 4. Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film. 5. Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date. 6. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 7. I used to have a handle on life...but now it is broken. 8. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 9. Hang up and drive. 10. If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you. 11. Heart Attacks...God's