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Funny Football Quotes 2 Post by :bytor500 Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :4313

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Funny Football Quotes 2

Dick Butkus: "I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important —like a league game or something."

Jack Tatum: "I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault."

Jim Finks, when asked after a loss what he thought of the officiating: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy referees."

Dave Barry: "I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body."

Unknown: "One of the great disappointments of a football game is that the cheerleaders never seem to get injured."

Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Terrell Owens, of the San Francisco 49ers, was asked for one word to describe himself. He said "confident." When asked for another word he said "very."

Tim Green: "Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis."

Frank Gifford: "Pro Football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors."

Big Daddy Lipscomb: "I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em one by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him I keep."

Heywood Hale Broun: "Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it."

George Will: "Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings."

Steve Henderson: "I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL."

Arnold Mandell: "Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time."

Phyllis Diller: "The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

George Rogers: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Doug Plank: "Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental."

Deion Sanders, commenting on the troubled Randy Moss: "He's like a beautiful woman who can't cook, doesn't want to clean and doesn't want to take care of the kids. You really don't want her, but she's so beautiful that you can't let her go."

Jay Leno, commenting on the NCAA plans, to reach college athletes, by launching an anti-gambling campaign on the Cartoon Network: "You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network."

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