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Barnstormer
Jock was out working the field when a barnstormer landed."I'll give you an airplane ride for £5," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride if you promise not to yell. Otherwise it'll be £10."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock.
Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Gotta hand it to you. For country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"
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Paddy and Mick worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddyanswered, 'Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties and thongs." The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labor, he gave him 45 Euros a week unemployment pay. Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel fitter.' Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick 90 Euros a week. When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting
Unemployment
Paddy and Mick worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddyanswered, 'Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties and thongs." The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labor, he gave him 45 Euros a week unemployment pay. Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel fitter.' Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick 90 Euros a week. When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sittingin a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid theirwiveswere. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is sostupid.Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don'teven havea fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, butsayshis wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out andspent$17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn'teven know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these twowomansound like they both walked through the stupid forestand got hit
Stupid Wives
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sittingin a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid theirwiveswere. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is sostupid.Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don'teven havea fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, butsayshis wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out andspent$17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn'teven know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these twowomansound like they both walked through the stupid forestand got hit
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