Full Online Books
Authors Authors Short Stories Short Stories Long Stories Long Stories Funny Stories Funny Stories Love Stories Love Stories Stories For Kids Stories For Kids Poems Poems Essays Essays Nonfictions Nonfictions Plays Plays Folktales Folktales Fairy Tales Fairy Tales Fables Fables Learning Kitchen Learning Kitchen
Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Free Classified Website Without Registration Free Classified Website Daniel Company
Twitter Twitter Add book
Full Online Book HomeFunny StoriesAaadd
Famous Authors (View All Authors)
Aaadd Post by :Ian-Michael Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :3331

Click below to download : Aaadd (Format : PDF)


Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated  Attention Deficit Disorder.    This is how it manifests:    

I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on  the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the  trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is  full.    

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out  the trash first.    

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I  take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.    

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.    

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk  where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.    

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.    

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put  it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.    

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on  the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.    

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading  glasses that I've been searching for all morning.    

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going  to water the flowers.    

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container  with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.    

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be  looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on  the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where  it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.    

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on  the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels  and wipe up the spill.    

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was  planning to do.    

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't  paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the  flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my  checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.    

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.    

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some  help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.    

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

If you like this book please share to your friends :

Old Money Old Money

Old Money
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel." "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents." "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month,

50 Years 50 Years

50 Years
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot