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Full Online Book HomeFunny StoriesA Senior's Worth
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A Senior's Worth Post by :ubupats Category :Funny Stories Author :Unknown Date :April 2012 Read :2707

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A Senior's Worth

What are seniors citizens worth?

They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet.

As for myself, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then.

Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.

I immediately go to see John.

After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint.

Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!

P.S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, 'Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself...'What am I here after?'

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Sex Tips For Seniors Sex Tips For Seniors

Sex Tips For Seniors
Put bifocals on. Double check that you're with the right partner. Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes... in case you doze off in the middle. Set the mood with lighting. Turn 'em ALL OFF ! Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin... just in case! Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember what to scream out at the end.