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Shooting Pains Shooting Pains

Shooting Pains
"The charge is prepar'd."--_Macheath._If I shoot any more I'll be shot,For ill-luck seems determined to star me, I have march'd the whole day With a gun,--for no pay--Zounds, I'd better have been in the army!What matters Sir Christopher's leave;To his manor I'm sorry I came yet! With confidence fraught My two pointers I brought,But we are not a point towards game yet!And that gamekeeper too, with advice!Of my course he has been a... Poems - Post by : shish1 - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 1387

Domestic Asides; Or, Truth In Parentheses Domestic Asides; Or, Truth In Parentheses

Domestic Asides; Or, Truth In Parentheses
"I really take it very kind,This visit, Mrs. Skinner!I have not seen you such an age--(The wretch has come to dinner!)"Your daughters, too, what loves of girls--What heads for painters' easels!Come here and kiss the infant, dears--(And give it p'rhaps the measles!)"Your charming boys I see are homeFrom Reverend Mr. Russell's;'Twas very kind to bring them both--(What boots for my new Brussels!)"What! little Clara left at home?Well now I call that shabby:I should have loved to kiss her so--(A flabby, dabby, babby!)"And Mr. S., I hope he's well,Ah! though he lives so handy,He never now drops in to sup--(The better for... Poems - Post by : rakeit - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 3125

The Carelesse Nurse Mayd The Carelesse Nurse Mayd

The Carelesse Nurse Mayd
I sawe a Mayd sitte on a Bank,Beguiled by Wooer fayne and fond;And whiles His flatterynge Vowes She drank,Her Nurselynge slipt within a Pond!All Even Tide they Talkde and Kist,For She was Fayre and He was Kinde;The Sunne went down before She wistAnother Sonne had sett behinde!With angrie Hands and frownynge Browe,That deemd Her owne the Urchine's Sinne,She pluckt Him out, but he was nowePast being Whipt for fallynge in.She then beginnes to wayle the LaddeWith Shrikes that Echo answered round--O foolish Mayd! to be soe saddeThe Momente that her Care was drownd!(The end)Thomas Hood's poem: Carelesse Nurse Mayd... Poems - Post by : demenev - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2564

Those Evening Bells Those Evening Bells

Those Evening Bells
Those evening bells, those evening bells,How many a tale their music tells,--Of Yorkshire cakes and crumpets prime,And letters only just in time!The Muffin-boy has passed away,The Postman gone--and I must pay,For down below Deaf Mary dwells,And does not hear those Evening Bells.(A)And so 'twill be when she is gone,That tuneful peal will still ring on,And other maids with timely yellsForget to stay those Evening Bells. (Footnote A: The muffin-boy, with his "evening bell," is still in the land; but the evening postman, perambulating the streets and collecting etters "just in time," has "passed away" for ever.)(The end)Thomas Hood's poem: Those Evening Bells... Poems - Post by : crispycorn - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2975

The Progress Of Art The Progress Of Art

The Progress Of Art
Oh happy time!--Art's early days!When o'er each deed, with sweet self-praise, Narcissus-like I hung!When great Rembrandt but little seemed,And such Old Masters all were deemed As nothing to the young!Some scratchy strokes--abrupt and few,So easily and swift I drew, Sufficed for my design;My sketchy, superficial handDrew solids at a dash--and spanned A surface with a line.Not long my eye was thus content,But grew more critical--my bent Essayed a higher walk;I copied leaden eyes in lead--Rheumatic hands in white and red, And gouty feet--in... Poems - Post by : andrewteg - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2131

The Wee Man: A Romance The Wee Man: A Romance

The Wee Man: A Romance
It was a merry company, And they were just afloat,When lo! a man, of dwarfish span, Came up and hailed the boat."Good morrow to ye, gentle folks, And will you let me in?A slender space will serve my case, For I am small and thin."They saw he was a dwarfish man, And very small and thin;Not seven such would matter much, And so they took him in.They laughed to see his little hat, With such a narrow brim;They laughed to note his dapper coat, With skirts so scant and trim.But barely had they... Poems - Post by : EbayChina - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 1689

Craniology Craniology

Craniology
'Tis strange how like a very dunce,Man--with his bumps upon his sconce,Has lived so long, and yet no knowledge heHas had, till lately, of Phrenology--A science that by simple dint ofHead-combing he should find a hint of,When scratching o'er those little poll-hills,The faculties throw up like mole-hills;A science that, in very spiteOf all his teeth, ne'er came to light,For though he knew his skull had _grinders_,Still there turned up no _organ_ finders,Still sages wrote, and ages fled,And no man's head came in his head--Not even the pate of Erra Pater,Knew aught about its pia mater.At last great Dr. Gall bestirs him--I... Poems - Post by : Yoon_Ho_Um - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 1460

A Fairy Tale (on Hounslow Heath And Close Beside The Road) A Fairy Tale (on Hounslow Heath And Close Beside The Road)

A Fairy Tale (on Hounslow Heath And Close Beside The Road)
On Hounslow Heath--and close beside the road,As western travellers may oft have seen,--A little house some years ago there stood, A minikin abode;And built like Mr. Birkbeck's, all of wood:The walls of white, the window-shutters green,--Four wheels it had at North, South, East, and West (Though now at rest),On which it used to wander to and fro,Because its master ne'er maintained a rider,Like those who trade in Paternoster Row;But made his business travel for itself,... Poems - Post by : tboyack - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2240

The Mermaid Of Margate The Mermaid Of Margate

The Mermaid Of Margate
"Alas! what perils do environ That man who meddles with a siren!"--_Hudibrus_.(Note: The Mermaid of Margate: Charles Lamb had been reading these verses when he wrote to his friend Dibdin, in June, 1896, and called him "Peter Fin Junior.")On Margate beach the sick one roams, And the sentimental reads;Where the maiden flirts, and the widow comes Like the ocean--to cast her weeds;--Where urchins wander to pick up shells, And the Cit to spy at the ships,--Like the water gala at Sadler's Wells,-- And the Chandler for watery dips;--There's a maiden sits by the ocean brim,... Poems - Post by : Tammy - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2301

A True Story A True Story

A True Story
Of all our pains, since man was curst,I mean of body, not the mental,To name the worst, among the worst,The dental sure is transcendental;Some bit of masticating bone,That ought to help to clear a shelf,But lets its proper work alone,And only seems to gnaw itself;In fact, of any grave attackOn victual there is little danger,'Tis so like coming to the _rack,_As well as going to the manger.Old Hunks--it seemed a fit retortOf justice on his grinding ways--Possessed a grinder of the sort,That troubled all his latter days.The best of friends fall out, and soHis teeth had done some years ago,Save some... Poems - Post by : Claire_Koch - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2395

A Parthian Glance A Parthian Glance

A Parthian Glance
"Sweet Memory, wafted by thy gentle gale, Oft up the stream of time I turn my sail."--ROGERS.Come, my Crony, let's think upon far-away days, And lift up a little Oblivion's veil;Let's consider the past with a lingering gaze, Like a peacock whose eyes are inclined to his tail.Aye, come, let us turn our attention behind, Like those critics whose heads are so heavy, I fear,That they cannot keep up with the march of the mind, And so turn face about for reviewing the rear.Looking over Time's crupper and over his tail, Oh, what ages... Poems - Post by : theniche - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2841

To Henrietta, On Her Departure For Calais To Henrietta, On Her Departure For Calais

To Henrietta, On Her Departure For Calais
(Note: Henrietta: The daughter of Hood's friend William Harvey, theartist.)When little people go abroad ver they may roam,They will not just be treated as they used to be at home;So take a few promiscuous hints, to warn you in advance,Of how a little English girl will perhaps be served in France.Of course you will be Frenchified; and first, it's my belief,They'll dress you in their foreign style as a-la-mode as beef,With a little row of beehives, as a border to your frock,And a pair of frilly trousers, like a little bantam cock.But first they'll seize your bundle (if you have one)... Poems - Post by : frogknight - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2632

A Flying Visit A Flying Visit

A Flying Visit
"A Calendar! a Calendar! look in the Almanac, find out moonshine--find out moonshine!"--_Midsummer Night's Dream_.I. The by-gone September, As folks may remember,At least if their memory saves but an ember, One fine afternoon, There went up a Balloon,Which did not return to the Earth very soon.II. For, nearing the sky, At about a mile high,The Aeronaut bold had resolved on a fly;... Poems - Post by : Akiba - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 3372

Rural Felicity Rural Felicity

Rural Felicity
Well, the country's a pleasant place, sure enough, for people that's country born,And useful, no doubt, in a natural way, for growing our grass and our corn.It was kindly meant of my cousin Giles, to write and invite me down,Tho' as yet all I've seen of a pastoral life only makes one more partial to town.At first I thought I was really come down into all sorts of rural bliss,For Porkington Place, with its cows and its pigs, and its poultry, looks not... Poems - Post by : gcmega - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2320

The Bachelor's Dream The Bachelor's Dream

The Bachelor's Dream
My pipe is lit, my grog is mix'd,My curtains drawn and all is snug;Old Puss is in her elbow-chair,And Tray is sitting on the rug.Last night I had a curious dream,Miss Susan Bates was Mistress Mogg--What d'ye think of that, my Cat?What d'ye think of that, my Dog?She look'd so fair, she sang so well,I could but woo and she was won,Myself in blue, the bride in white,The ring was placed, the deed was done!Away we went in chaise-and-four,As fast as grinning boys could flog--What d'ye think of that, my Cat?What d'ye think of that, my Dog?What loving tete-a-tetes to come!But... Poems - Post by : RobertGJordan - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 3204

The Assistant Drapers' Petition The Assistant Drapers' Petition

The Assistant Drapers' Petition
"Now's the time and now's the hour,"--BURNS. "Seven's the main."--CROCKFORD.(Note: The exquisite wit and fancy of these verses need not blind us to their touching earnestness. They might well be printed and circulated still in the service of the great cause of Early Closing. The "Knight" mentioned was, of course, the excellent Charles Knight, pioneer and forerunner of all subsequent movements for cheapening and popularizing good literature.)Pity the sorrows of a class of men, Who, though they bow to fashion and frivolity,No fancied claims or woes fictitious pen, But wrongs ell-wide, and of a lasting quality.Oppress'd... Poems - Post by : rsgorman - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2841

A Plain Direction A Plain Direction

A Plain Direction
"Do you never deviate?" _John Bull_.In London once I lost my wayIn faring to and fro,And ask'd a little ragged boyThe way that I should go;He gave a nod, and then a wink,And told me to get there"Straight down the Crooked Lane,And all round the Square."I box'd his little saucy ears,And then away I strode;But since I've found that weary pathIs quite a common road.Utopia is a pleasant place,But how shall I get there?"Straight down the Crooked Lane,And all round the Square."I've... Poems - Post by : atlanti2 - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 1010

Morning Meditations Morning Meditations

Morning Meditations
Let Taylor preach upon a morning breezyHow well to rise while nights and larks are flying--For my part getting up seems not so easy By half as _lying_.What if the lark does carol in the sky,Soaring beyond the sight to find him out--Wherefore am I to rise at such a fly? I'm not a trout.Talk not to me of bees and such like hums,The smell of sweet herbs at the morning prime--Only lee long enough, and bed becomes A bed... Poems - Post by : theboss - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2486

Lieutenant Luff Lieutenant Luff

Lieutenant Luff
All you that are too fond of wine, Or any other stuff,Take warning by the dismal fate Of one Lieutenant Luff.A sober man he might have been, Except in one regard,He did not like soft water, So he took to drinking hard!Said he, "Let others fancy slops, And talk in praise of Tea,But I am no Bohemian, So do not like Bohea.If wine's a poison, so is Tea, Though in another shape:What matter whether one is kill'd By canister or grape!"According to this kind of taste Did he indulge his drouth,And being... Poems - Post by : laffe - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2243

The Forlorn Shepherd's Complaint The Forlorn Shepherd's Complaint

The Forlorn Shepherd's Complaint
AN UNPUBLISHED POEM, FROM SYDNEY."Vell! Here I am--no Matter how it suitsA-keeping Company vith them dumb Brutes;Old Park vos no bad Judge--confound his vig!Of vot vood break the Sperrit of a Prig!"The Like of Me, to come to New Sow WalesTo go a-tagging arter Vethers' TailsAnd valk in Herbage as delights the Flock,But stinks of Sweet Herbs vorser nor the Dock!"To go to set this solitary JobTo Von whose Vork vos alvay in a Mob!It's out of all our Lines, for sure I amJack Shepherd even never kep a Lamb!"I arn't ashamed to say I sit and veepTo think of Seven... Poems - Post by : jeffk - Date : February 2011 - Author : Thomas Hood - Read : 2127