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Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 20 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 20

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 20
There was one of those long silences. Pregnant, I believe, is what they're generally called. Aunt looked at butler. Butler looked at aunt. I looked at both of them. An eerie stillness seemed to envelop the room like a linseed poultice. I happened to be biting on a slice of apple in my fruit salad at the moment, and it sounded as if Carnera had jumped off the top of the Eiffel Tower on to a cucumber frame. Aunt Dahlia steadied herself against the sideboard, and spoke in a low, husky voice: "Faces?" "Yes, madam." "Through the skylight?" "Yes, madam." "You... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1332

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 19 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 19

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 19
Most chaps in my position, I imagine, would have pondered all the rest of the evening without getting a bite, but we Woosters have an uncanny knack of going straight to the heart of things, and I don't suppose it was much more than ten minutes after I had started pondering before I saw what had to be done. What was needed to straighten matters out, I perceived, was a heart-to- heart talk with Angela. She had caused all the trouble by her mutton- headed behaviour in saying "Yes" instead of "No" when Gussie, in the grip of mixed drinks and... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 3281

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 18 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 18

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 18
I eyed him narrowly. I didn't like his looks. Mark you, I don't say I ever had, much, because Nature, when planning this sterling fellow, shoved in a lot more lower jaw than was absolutely necessary and made the eyes a bit too keen and piercing for one who was neither an Empire builder nor a traffic policeman. But on the present occasion, in addition to offending the aesthetic sense, this Glossop seemed to me to be wearing a distinct air of menace, and I found myself wishing that Jeeves wasn't always so dashed tactful. I mean, it's all very well... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 3332

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 17 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 17

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 17
"And yet, Jeeves," I said, twiddling a thoughtful steering wheel, "there is always the bright side." Some twenty minutes had elapsed, and having picked the honest fellow up outside the front door, I was driving in the two-seater to the picturesque town of Market Snodsbury. Since we had parted--he to go to his lair and fetch his hat, I to remain in my room and complete the formal costume--I had been doing some close thinking. The results of this I now proceeded to hand on to him. "However dark the prospect may be, Jeeves, however murkily the storm clouds may seem... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2307

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 16 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 16

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 16
Sunshine was gilding the grounds of Brinkley Court and the ear detected a marked twittering of birds in the ivy outside the window when I woke next morning to a new day. But there was no corresponding sunshine in Bertram Wooster's soul and no answering twitter in his heart as he sat up in bed, sipping his cup of strengthening tea. It could not be denied that to Bertram, reviewing the happenings of the previous night, the Tuppy-Angela situation seemed more or less to have slipped a cog. With every desire to look for the silver lining, I could not but... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 3079

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 15 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 15

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 15
I gave him the eye. The evening had begun to draw in a bit by now and the visibility, in consequence, was not so hot, but there still remained ample light to enable me to see him clearly. And what I saw convinced me that I should be a lot easier in my mind with a stout rustic bench between us. I rose, accordingly, modelling my style on that of a rocketing pheasant, and proceeded to deposit myself on the other side of the object named. My prompt agility was not without its effect. He seemed somewhat taken aback. He came... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 970

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 14 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 14

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 14
Investigation proved that the friends Angela had gone to spend the day with were some stately-home owners of the name of Stretchley-Budd, hanging out in a joint called Kingham Manor, about eight miles distant in the direction of Pershore. I didn't know these birds, but their fascination must have been considerable, for she tore herself away from them only just in time to get back and dress for dinner. It was, accordingly, not until coffee had been consumed that I was able to get matters moving. I found her in the drawing-room and at once proceeded to put things in train.... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 779

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 10 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 10

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 10
How different it all would have been, I could not but reflect, if this girl had been the sort of girl one chirrups cheerily to over the telephone and takes for spins in the old two-seater. In that case, I would simply have said, "Listen," and she would have said, "What?" and I would have said, "You know Gussie Fink-Nottle," and she would have said, "Yes," and I would have said, "He loves you," and she would have said either, "What, that mutt? Well, thank heaven for one good laugh today," or else, in more passionate vein, "Hot dog! Tell me... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1092

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 9 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 9

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 9
Tuppy's fatheaded words were still rankling in my bosom as I went up to my room. They continued rankling as I shed the form-fitting, and had not ceased to rankle when, clad in the old dressing-gown, I made my way along the corridor to the _salle de bain_. It is not too much to say that I was piqued to the tonsils. I mean to say, one does not court praise. The adulation of the multitude means very little to one. But, all the same, when one has taken the trouble to whack out a highly juicy scheme to benefit an... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2480

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 8 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 8

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 8
I think I have told you before about young Tuppy Glossop. He was the fellow, if you remember, who, callously ignoring the fact that we had been friends since boyhood, betted me one night at the Drones that I could swing myself across the swimming bath by the rings--a childish feat for one of my lissomeness--and then, having seen me well on the way, looped back the last ring, thus rendering it necessary for me to drop into the deep end in formal evening costume. To say that I had not resented this foul deed, which seemed to me deserving of... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1439

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 7 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 7

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 7
I meditated pretty freely as I drove down to Brinkley in the old two-seater that afternoon. The news of this rift or rupture of Angela's and Tuppy's had disturbed me greatly. The projected match, you see, was one on which I had always looked with kindly approval. Too often, when a chap of your acquaintance is planning to marry a girl you know, you find yourself knitting the brow a bit and chewing the lower lip dubiously, feeling that he or she, or both, should be warned while there is yet time. But I have never felt anything of this nature... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 740

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 6 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 6

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 6
Gussie, on arrival, proved to be still showing traces of his grim experience. The face was pale, the eyes gooseberry-like, the ears drooping, and the whole aspect that of a man who has passed through the furnace and been caught in the machinery. I hitched myself up a bit higher on the pillows and gazed at him narrowly. It was a moment, I could see, when first aid was required, and I prepared to get down to cases. "Well, Gussie." "Hullo, Bertie." "What ho." "What ho." These civilities concluded, I felt that the moment had come to touch delicately on the... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2069

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 5 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 5

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 5
I gave him one of my looks. "Jeeves," I said, "I had scarcely expected this of you. You are aware that I was up to an advanced hour last night. You know that I have barely had my tea. You cannot be ignorant of the effect of that hearty voice of Aunt Dahlia's on a man with a headache. And yet you come bringing me Fink-Nottles. Is this a time for Fink or any other kind of Nottle?" "But did you not give me to understand, sir, that you wished to see Mr. Fink-Nottle to advise him on his affairs?" This,... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1191

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 4 Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 4

Right Ho, Jeeves - Chapter 4
It has been well said of Bertram Wooster that, while no one views his flesh and blood with a keener and more remorselessly critical eye, he is nevertheless a man who delights in giving credit where credit is due. And if you have followed these memoirs of mine with the proper care, you will be aware that I have frequently had occasion to emphasise the fact that Aunt Dahlia is all right. She is the one, if you remember, who married old Tom Travers _en secondes noces_, as I believe the expression is, the year Bluebottle won the Cambridgeshire, and once... Long Stories - Post by : Callmoney - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1804

Uneasy Money - Chapter 23 Uneasy Money - Chapter 23

Uneasy Money - Chapter 23
The spectacle of Nutty in his anguish did not touch Elizabeth. Normally a kind-hearted girl, she was not in the least sorry for him. She had even taken a bitter pleasure and found a momentary relief in loosing the thunderbolt which had smitten him down. Even if it has to manufacture it, misery loves company. She watched Nutty with a cold and uninterested eye as he opened his mouth feebly, shut it again and reopened it; and then when it became apparent that these manoeuvres were about to result in speech, she left him and walked quickly down the drive again.... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2073

Uneasy Money - Chapter 22 Uneasy Money - Chapter 22

Uneasy Money - Chapter 22
When Bill woke next morning it was ten o'clock; and his first emotion, on a day that was to be crowded with emotions of various kinds, was one of shame. The desire to do the fitting thing is innate in man, and it struck Bill, as he hurried through his toilet, that he must be a shallow, coarse-fibred sort of person, lacking in the finer feelings, not to have passed a sleepless night. There was something revolting in the thought that, in circumstances which would have made sleep an impossibility for most men, he had slept like a log. He did... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2686

Uneasy Money - Chapter 21 Uneasy Money - Chapter 21

Uneasy Money - Chapter 21
For some minutes after Claire had left him Bill remained where he was, motionless. He felt physically incapable of moving. All the strength that was in him he was using to throw off the insidious poison of her parting speech, and it became plainer to him with each succeeding moment that he would have need of strength. It is part of the general irony of things that in life's crises a man's good qualities are often the ones that help him least, if indeed they do not actually turn treacherously and fight against him. It was so with Bill. Modesty, if... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1494

Uneasy Money - Chapter 20 Uneasy Money - Chapter 20

Uneasy Money - Chapter 20
In the smoking-room of Lady Wetherby's house, chewing the dead stump of a once imposing cigar, Dudley Pickering sat alone with his thoughts. He had been alone for half an hour now. Once Lord Wetherby had looked in, to withdraw at once coldly, with the expression of a groom who has found loathsome things in the harness-room. Roscoe Sherriff, good, easy man, who could never dislike people, no matter what they had done, had come for a while to bear him company; but Mr Pickering's society was not for the time being entertaining. He had answered with grunts the Press-agent's kindly... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 1329

Uneasy Money - Chapter 19 Uneasy Money - Chapter 19

Uneasy Money - Chapter 19
Bill leaned his back against the gate that separated the grounds of the bee-farm from the high road and mused pleasantly. He was alone. Elizabeth was walking up the drive on her way to the house to tell the news to Nutty. James, the cat, who had come down from the roof of the outhouse, was sharpening his claws on a neighbouring tree. After the whirl of excitement that had been his portion for the past few hours, the peace of it all appealed strongly to Bill. It suited the mood of quiet happiness which was upon him. Quietly happy, that... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 3040

Uneasy Money - Chapter 18 Uneasy Money - Chapter 18

Uneasy Money - Chapter 18
Lord Dawlish stood in the doorway of the outhouse, holding the body of Eustace gingerly by the tail. It was a solemn moment. There was no room for doubt as to the completeness of the extinction of Lady Wetherby's pet. Dudley Pickering's bullet had done its lethal work. Eustace's adventurous career was over. He was through. Elizabeth's mouth was trembling, and she looked very white in the moonlight. Being naturally soft-hearted, she deplored the tragedy for its own sake; and she was also, though not lacking in courage, decidedly upset by the discovery that some person unknown had been roaming her... Long Stories - Post by : glider - Date : May 2012 - Author : P G Wodehouse - Read : 2120