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A Christmas Garland - Dickens A Christmas Garland - Dickens

A Christmas Garland - Dickens
_By G**RGE M**RE I had often wondered why when people talked to me of Tintoretto I always found myself thinking of Turgeneff. It seemed to me strange that I should think of Turgeneff instead of thinking of Tintoretto; for at first sight nothing can be more far apart than the Slav mind and the Flemish. But one morning, some years ago, while I was musing by my fireplace in Victoria Street, Dolmetsch came to see me. He had a soiled roll of music under his left arm. I said, "How are you?" He said, "I am well. And you?" I said,... Long Stories - Post by : jones7 - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1898

A Christmas Garland - Fond Hearts Askew A Christmas Garland - Fond Hearts Askew

A Christmas Garland - Fond Hearts Askew
_By M**R*CE H*WL*TT TO WILLIAM ROBERTSON NICOLL SAGE AND REVEREND AND A TRUE KNIGHT THIS ROMAUNT OF DAYS EDVARDIAN PROLOGUE. _Too strong a wine, belike, for some stomachs, for there's honey in it, and a dibbet of gore, with other condiments. Yet Mistress Clio (with whom, some say, Mistress Thalia, that sweet hoyden) brewed it: she, not I, who do but hand the cup round by her warrant and good favour. Her guests, not mine, you shall take it or leave it--spill it untasted or quaff a bellyful. Of a hospitable temper, she whose page I am; but a great lady,... Long Stories - Post by : Betty - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 566

A Christmas Garland - A Straight Talk A Christmas Garland - A Straight Talk

A Christmas Garland - A Straight Talk
_By G**RGE B*RN*RD SH*W (_Preface to "Snt George. A Christmas Play"_) When a public man lays his hand on his heart and declares that his conduct needs no apology, the audience hastens to put up its umbrellas against the particularly severe downpour of apologies in store for it. I wont give the customary warning. My conduct shrieks aloud for apology, and you are in for a thorough drenching. Flatly, I stole this play. The one valid excuse for the theft would be mental starvation. That excuse I shant plead. I could have made a dozen better plays than this out of... Long Stories - Post by : Betty - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2650

A Christmas Garland - Of Christmas A Christmas Garland - Of Christmas

A Christmas Garland - Of Christmas
_By H*L**RE B*LL*C There was a man came to an Inn by night, and after he had called three times they should open him the door--though why three times, and not three times three, nor thirty times thirty, which is the number of the little stone devils that make mows at St. Aloesius of Ledera over against the marshes Gue-la-Nuce to this day, nor three hundred times three hundred (which is a bestial number), nor three thousand times three-and-thirty, upon my soul I know not, and nor do you--when, then, this jolly fellow had three times cried out, shouted, yelled, holloa'd,... Long Stories - Post by : Betty - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 3014

A Christmas Garland - A Recollection A Christmas Garland - A Recollection

A Christmas Garland - A Recollection
_By EDM*ND G*SSE "And let us strew Twain wreaths of holly and of yew." WALLER.One out of many Christmas Days abides with peculiar vividness in my memory. In setting down, however clumsily, some slight record of it, I feel that I shall be discharging a duty not only to the two disparately illustrious men who made it so very memorable, but also to all young students of English and Scandinavian literature. My use of the first person singular, delightful though that pronoun is in the works of the truly gifted, jars unspeakably on me; but reasons... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 3450

A Christmas Garland - The Feast A Christmas Garland - The Feast

A Christmas Garland - The Feast
_By J*S*PH C*NR*D The hut in which slept the white man was on a clearing between the forest and the river. Silence, the silence murmurous and unquiet of a tropical night, brooded over the hut that, baked through by the sun, sweated a vapour beneath the cynical light of the stars. Mahamo lay rigid and watchful at the hut's mouth. In his upturned eyes, and along the polished surface of his lean body black and immobile, the stars were reflected, creating an illusion of themselves who are illusions. The roofs of the congested trees, writhing in some kind of agony private... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2270

A Christmas Garland - Christmas A Christmas Garland - Christmas

A Christmas Garland - Christmas
_By G.S. STR**T One likes it or not. This said, there is plaguey little else to say of Christmas, and I (though I doubt my sentiments touch you not at all) would rather leave that little unsaid. Did I confess a distaste for Christmas, I should incur your enmity. But if I find it, as I protest I do, rather agreeable than otherwise, why should I spoil my pleasure by stringing vain words about it? Swift and the broomstick--yes. But that essay was done at the behest of a clever woman, and to annoy the admirers of Robert Boyle. Besides, it... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2678

A Christmas Garland - A Sequelula To 'the Dynasts' A Christmas Garland - A Sequelula To "the Dynasts"

A Christmas Garland - A Sequelula To 'the Dynasts'
A Sequelula To "the Dynasts"(7) _By TH*M*S H*RDY (Footnote 7: _This has been composed from a scenario thrust on me by some one else. My philosophy of life saves me from sense of responsibility for any of my writings; but I venture to hold myself specially irresponsible for this one._--TH*M*S H*RDY.) The Void is disclosed. Our own Solar System is visible, distant by some two million miles. Enter the Ancient Spirit and Chorus of the Years, the Spirit and Chorus of the Pities, the Spirit Ironic, the Spirit... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1852

A Christmas Garland - Some Damnable Errors About Christmas A Christmas Garland - Some Damnable Errors About Christmas

A Christmas Garland - Some Damnable Errors About Christmas
_By G.K. CH*ST*RT*N That it is human to err is admitted by even the most positive of our thinkers. Here we have the great difference between latter-day thought and the thought of the past. If Euclid were alive to-day (and I dare say he is) he would not say, "The angles at the base of an isosceles triangle are equal to one another." He would say, "To me (a very frail and fallible being, remember) it does somehow seem that these two angles have a mysterious and awful equality to one another." The dislike of schoolboys for Euclid is unreasonable in... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 664

A Christmas Garland - Perkins And Mankind A Christmas Garland - Perkins And Mankind

A Christmas Garland - Perkins And Mankind
_By H.G. W*LLS Chapter XX Sec.1. It was the Christmas party at Heighton that was one of the turning-points in Perkins' life. The Duchess had sent him a three-page wire in the hyperbolical style of her class, conveying a vague impression that she and the Duke had arranged to commit suicide together if Perkins didn't "chuck" any previous engagement he had made. And Perkins had felt in a slipshod sort of way--for at this period he was incapable of ordered thought--he might as well be at Heighton as anywhere.... The enormous house was almost full. There must have been upwards of... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1475

A Christmas Garland - Out Of Harm's Way A Christmas Garland - Out Of Harm's Way

A Christmas Garland - Out Of Harm's Way
_By A.C. B*NS*N Chapter XLII.--Christmas More and more, as the tranquil years went by, Percy found himself able to draw a quiet satisfaction from the regularity, the even sureness, with which, in every year, one season succeeded to another. In boyhood he had felt always a little sad at the approach of autumn. The yellowing leaves of the lime trees, the creeper that flushed to so deep a crimson against the old grey walls, the chrysanthemums that shed so prodigally their petals on the smooth green lawn--all these things, beautiful and wonderful though they were, were somehow a little melancholy also,... Long Stories - Post by : richard52az - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1608

A Christmas Garland - P.C., X, 36 A Christmas Garland - P.C., X, 36

A Christmas Garland - P.C., X, 36
_By R*D**RD K*PL*NG Then it's collar 'im tight, In the name o' the Lawd! 'Ustle 'im, shake 'im till 'e's sick! Wot, 'e _would_, would 'e? Well, Then yer've got ter give 'im 'Ell, An' it's trunch, trunch, truncheon does the trick POLICE STATION DITTIES.I had spent Christmas Eve at the Club, listening to a grand pow-wow between certain of the choicer sons of Adam. Then Slushby had cut in. Slushby is one who writes to newspapers and is theirs obediently "HUMANITARIAN." When Slushby cuts... Long Stories - Post by : traffic-tart - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2709

A Christmas Garland - The Mote In The Middle Distance A Christmas Garland - The Mote In The Middle Distance

A Christmas Garland - The Mote In The Middle Distance
_By H*NRY J*M*S It was with the sense of a, for him, very memorable something that he peered now into the immediate future, and tried, not without compunction, to take that period up where he had, prospectively, left it. But just where the deuce _had he left it? The consciousness of dubiety was, for our friend, not, this morning, quite yet clean-cut enough to outline the figures on what she had called his "horizon," between which and himself the twilight was indeed of a quality somewhat intimidating. He had run up, in the course of time, against a good number of... Long Stories - Post by : traffic-tart - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1749

A Christmas Garland - Note A Christmas Garland - Note

A Christmas Garland - Note
Stevenson, in one of his essays, tells us how he "played the sedulous ape" to Hazlitt, Sir Thomas Browne, Montaigne, and other writers of the past. And the compositors of all our higher-toned newspapers keep the foregoing sentence set up in type always, so constantly does it come tripping off the pens of all higher-toned reviewers. Nor ever do I read it without a fresh thrill of respect for the young Stevenson. I, in my own very inferior boyhood, found it hard to revel in so much as a single page of any writer earlier than Thackeray. This disability I did... Long Stories - Post by : traffic-tart - Date : May 2012 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 711

Dandies And Dandies Dandies And Dandies

Dandies And Dandies
How very delightful Grego's drawings are! For all their mad perspective and crude colour, they have indeed the sentiment of style, and they reveal, with surer delicacy than does any other record, the spirit of Mr. Brummell's day. Grego guides me, as Virgil Dante, through all the mysteries of that other world. He shows me those stiff-necked, over-hatted, wasp-waisted gentlemen, drinking Burgundy in the Cafe des Milles Colonnes or riding through the village of Newmarket upon their fat cobs or gambling at Crockford's. Grego's Green Room of the Opera House always delights me. The formal way in which Mdlle. Mercandotti is... Essays - Post by : mitchmoccia - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2866

A Good Prince A Good Prince

A Good Prince
I first saw him one morning of last summer, in the Green Park. Though short, even insignificant, in stature and with an obvious tendency to be obese, he had that unruffled, Olympian air, which is so sure a sign of the Blood Royal. In a suit of white linen he looked serenely cool, despite the heat. Perhaps I should have thought him, had I not been versed in the Almanach de Gotha, a trifle older than he is. He did not raise his hat in answer to my salute, but smiled most graciously and made as though he would extend his... Essays - Post by : Jim_mitchell - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2273

King George The Fourth King George The Fourth

King George The Fourth
They say that when King George was dying, a special form of prayer for his recovery, composed by one of the Archbishops, was read aloud to him and that His Majesty, after saying Amen 'thrice, with great fervour,' begged that his thanks might be conveyed to its author. To the student of royalty in modern times there is something rather suggestive in this incident. I like to think of the drug-scented room at Windsor and of the King, livid and immobile among his pillows, waiting, in superstitious awe, for the near moment when he must stand, a spirit, in the presence... Essays - Post by : kmatinfeacfd - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1385

The Pervasion Of Rouge The Pervasion Of Rouge

The Pervasion Of Rouge
Nay, but it is useless to protest. Artifice must queen it once more in the town, and so, if there be any whose hearts chafe at her return, let them not say, 'We have come into evil times,' and be all for resistance, reformation, or angry cavilling. For did the king's sceptre send the sea retrograde, or the wand of the sorcerer avail to turn the sun from its old course? And what man or what number of men ever stayed that inexorable process by which the cities of this world grow, are very strong, fail, and grow again? Indeed, indeed,... Essays - Post by : ortaz - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 2027

Poor Romeo! Poor Romeo!

Poor Romeo!
Even now Bath glories in his legend, not idly, for he was the most fantastic animal that ever stepped upon her pavement. Were ever a statue given him (and indeed he is worthy of a grotesque in marble), it would be put in Pulteney Street or the Circus. I know that the palm trees of Antigua overshadowed his cradle, that there must be even now in Boulogne many who set eyes on him in the time of his less fatuous declension, that he died in London. But Mr. Coates (for of that Romeo I write) must be claimed by none of... Essays - Post by : Joe Gardner - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1280

Diminuendo Diminuendo

Diminuendo
In the year of grace 1890, and in the beautiful autumn of that year, I was a freshman at Oxford. I remember how my tutor asked me what lectures I wished to attend, and how he laughed when I said that I wished to attend the lectures of Mr. Walter Pater. Also I remember how, one morning soon after, I went into Ryman's to order some foolish engraving for my room, and there saw, peering into a portfolio, a small, thick, rock-faced man, whose top-hat and gloves of bright dog-skin struck one of the many discords in that little city of... Essays - Post by : marcorossi - Date : March 2011 - Author : Max Beerbohm - Read : 1376