Author Mark Twain - Full Online Book

Full Online Books
BOOK CATEGORIES
Authors Authors Short Stories Short Stories Long Stories Long Stories Funny Stories Funny Stories Love Stories Love Stories Stories For Kids Stories For Kids Poems Poems Essays Essays Nonfictions Nonfictions Plays Plays Folktales Folktales Fairy Tales Fairy Tales Fables Fables Learning Kitchen Learning Kitchen
LINKS
Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Free Classified Website Without Registration Free Classified Website Daniel Company
Twitter Twitter Add book
donate

Full Online Book HomeAuthor Mark TwainPage 3

Famous Authors (View All Authors)

Following The Equator - Chapter LXIII Following The Equator - Chapter LXIII

Following The Equator - Chapter LXIII
The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.April 20.--The cyclone of 1892 killed and crippled hundreds of people; it was accompanied by a deluge of rain, which drowned Port Louis and produced a water famine. Quite true; for it burst the reservoir and the water-pipes; and for a time after the flood had disappeared there was much distress from want of water.This is the only place in the world where no breed of matches can stand the damp. Only one match in 16 will light.The roads are hard... Nonfictions - Post by : Lionel - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1364

Following The Equator - Chapter LXII Following The Equator - Chapter LXII

Following The Equator - Chapter LXII
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.We sailed from Calcutta toward the end of March; stopped a day at Madras; two or three days in Ceylon; then sailed westward on a long flight for Mauritius. From my diary:April 7. We are far abroad upon the smooth waters of the Indian Ocean, now; it is shady and pleasant and peaceful under the vast spread of the awnings, and life is perfect again--ideal.The difference between a river and the sea is, that the river looks fluid, the sea solid--usually looks as if you... Nonfictions - Post by : showme - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 2350

Following The Equator - Chapter LXI Following The Equator - Chapter LXI

Following The Equator - Chapter LXI
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.Suppose we applied no more ingenuity to the instruction of deaf and dumb and blind children than we sometimes apply in our American public schools to the instruction of children who are in possession of all their faculties? The result would be that the deaf and dumb and blind would acquire nothing. They would live and die as ignorant as bricks and stones. The methods used in the asylums are rational. The teacher exactly measures the child's capacity, to begin with; and... Nonfictions - Post by : rrakausk - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3003

Following The Equator - Chapter LX Following The Equator - Chapter LX

Following The Equator - Chapter LX
SATAN (impatiently) to NEW-COMER. The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.We wandered contentedly around here and there in India; to Lahore, among other places the Lieutenant-Governor lent me an elephant. This hospitality stands out in my experiences in a stately isolation. It was a fine elephant, affable, gentlemanly, educated, and I was not afraid of it. I even rode it with confidence through the crowded lanes of the native city it scared all the horses out of their... Nonfictions - Post by : o_brient - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3034

Following The Equator - Chapter LIX Following The Equator - Chapter LIX

Following The Equator - Chapter LIX
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.We were driven over Sir Colin Campbell's route by a British officer, and when I arrived at the Residency I was so familiar with the road that I could have led a retreat over it myself; but the compass in my head has been out of order from my birth, and so, as soon as I was within the battered Bailie Guard and... Nonfictions - Post by : gballard - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1942

Following The Equator - Chapter LVIII Following The Equator - Chapter LVIII

Following The Equator - Chapter LVIII
Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your dutywithout pain. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.It seems to be settled, now, that among the many causes from which the Great Mutiny sprang, the main one was the annexation of the kingdom of Oudh by the East India Company--characterized by Sir Henry Lawrence as "the most unrighteous act that was ever committed." In the spring of 1857, a mutinous spirit was observable in many of the native garrisons, and it grew day by day and... Nonfictions - Post by : Peter_Yexley - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 2183

Following The Equator - Chapter LVII Following The Equator - Chapter LVII

Following The Equator - Chapter LVII
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or Nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his round. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing over looked. Always, when you think you have come to the end of her tremendous specialties and have finished banging tags upon her as the Land of the Thug, the Land... Nonfictions - Post by : penguinfan - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3346

Following The Equator - Chapter LVI Following The Equator - Chapter LVI

Following The Equator - Chapter LVI
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.On Monday and Tuesday at sunrise we again had fair-to-middling views of the stupendous mountains; then, being well cooled off and refreshed, we were ready to chance the weather of the lower world once more.We traveled up hill by the regular train five miles to the summit, then changed to a little canvas-canopied hand-car for the 35-mile descent. It was the size of a sleigh, it had six seats and was so low that it seemed... Nonfictions - Post by : Creation - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1395

Following The Equator - Chapter LV Following The Equator - Chapter LV

Following The Equator - Chapter LV
There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thyneighbor. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.FROM DIARY:February 14. We left at 4:30 P.M. Until dark we moved through rich vegetation, then changed to a boat and crossed the Ganges.February 15. Up with the sun. A brilliant morning, and frosty. A double suit of flannels is found necessary. The plain is perfectly level, and seems to stretch away and away and away, dimming and softening, to the uttermost bounds of nowhere. What a soaring, strenuous, gushing fountain spray of delicate... Nonfictions - Post by : sedriskill - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 968

Following The Equator - Chapter LIV Following The Equator - Chapter LIV

Following The Equator - Chapter LIV
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.A comfortable railway journey of seventeen and a half hours brought us to the capital of India, which is likewise the capital of Bengal--Calcutta. Like Bombay, it has a population of nearly a million natives and a small gathering of white people. It is a huge city and fine, and is called the City of Palaces. It is rich in historical memories; rich in British achievement--military, political, commercial; rich in... Nonfictions - Post by : cleodog - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 2669

Following The Equator - Chapter LIII Following The Equator - Chapter LIII

Following The Equator - Chapter LIII
True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.It was in Benares that I saw another living god. That makes two. I believe I have seen most of the greater and lesser wonders of the world, but I do not remember that any of them interested me so overwhelmingly as did that pair of gods.When I try to account for this effect I find no difficulty about it. I find that, as a rule, when a thing is a wonder to us it is not because of what we see in it, but because of what others have... Nonfictions - Post by : zmoen - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3397

Following The Equator - Chapter LII Following The Equator - Chapter LII

Following The Equator - Chapter LII
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.In one of those Benares temples we saw a devotee working for salvation in a curious way. He had a huge wad of clay beside him and was making it up into little wee gods no bigger than carpet tacks. He stuck a grain of rice into each--to represent the lingam, I think. He turned them out nimbly, for he had had long practice and had acquired great facility. Every day he made 2,000 gods, then threw them into the holy Ganges. This act of homage brought him the profound... Nonfictions - Post by : yaniksilver - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 869

Following The Equator - Chapter LI Following The Equator - Chapter LI

Following The Equator - Chapter LI
Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.Yes, the city of Benares is in effect just a big church, a religious hive, whose every cell is a temple, a shrine or a mosque, and whose every conceivable earthly and heavenly good is procurable under one roof, so to speak--a sort of Army and Navy Stores, theologically stocked.I will make out a little itinerary for the pilgrim; then you will see how handy the system is, how convenient, how comprehensive. If you go to Benares with... Nonfictions - Post by : theorym - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1333

Following The Equator - Chapter L Following The Equator - Chapter L

Following The Equator - Chapter L
The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.The journey to Benares was all in daylight, and occupied but a few hours. It was admirably dusty. The dust settled upon you in a thick ashy layer and turned you into a fakeer, with nothing lacking to the role but the cow manure and the sense of holiness. There was a change of cars about mid-afternoon at Moghul-serai--if that was the name--and a wait of two hours there for the Benares train. We could have found a carriage and driven... Nonfictions - Post by : scaranobiz - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1714

Following The Equator - Chapter XLIX Following The Equator - Chapter XLIX

Following The Equator - Chapter XLIX
He had had much experience of physicians, and said "the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what; you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.It was a long journey--two nights, one day, and part of another day, from Bombay eastward to Allahabad; but it was always interesting, and it was not fatiguing. At first the night travel promised to be fatiguing, but that was on account of pyjamas. This foolish night-dress consists of jacket and drawers. Sometimes they are made of silk, sometimes of a raspy, scratchy, slazy... Nonfictions - Post by : tmerlino - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 2410

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVIII Following The Equator - Chapter XLVIII

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVIII
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.We left Bombay for Allahabad by a night train. It is the custom of the country to avoid day travel when it can conveniently be done. But there is one trouble: while you can seemingly "secure" the two lower berths by making early application, there is no ticket as witness of it, and no other producible evidence in case your proprietorship shall chance to be challenged. The word "engaged" appears on the window, but it... Nonfictions - Post by : scottmal - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1653

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVII Following The Equator - Chapter XLVII

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVII
Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait, and count forty. To save three-quarters, count sixty. To save it all, count sixty-five. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.The Thug said:"How many of you English are passionately devoted to sporting! Your days and months are passed in its excitement. A tiger, a panther, a buffalo or a hog rouses your utmost energies for its destruction--you even risk your lives in its pursuit. How much higher game is a Thug's!"That must really be the secret of the rise and development of... Nonfictions - Post by : punter - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 2545

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVI Following The Equator - Chapter XLVI

Following The Equator - Chapter XLVI
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.On the Train. Fifty years ago, when I was a boy in the then remote and sparsely peopled Mississippi valley, vague tales and rumors of a mysterious body of professional murderers came wandering in from a country which was constructively as far from us as the constellations blinking in space--India; vague tales and rumors of a sect called Thugs, who waylaid travelers in lonely places and killed them for the contentment of a god whom they worshiped; tales which everybody liked... Nonfictions - Post by : Kathryn_Beach - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3270

Following The Equator - Chapter XLV Following The Equator - Chapter XLV

Following The Equator - Chapter XLV
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.Out of the town again; a long drive through open country, by winding roads among secluded villages nestling in the inviting shade of tropic vegetation, a Sabbath stillness everywhere, sometimes a pervading sense of solitude, but always barefoot natives gliding by like spirits, without sound of footfall, and others in the distance dissolving away and vanishing like the creatures of dreams. Now and then a string of stately camels... Nonfictions - Post by : jonny_fox - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 3202

Following The Equator - Chapter XLIV Following The Equator - Chapter XLIV

Following The Equator - Chapter XLIV
The old saw says, "Let a sleeping dog lie." Right.... Still, when thereis much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it. --Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar.FROM DIARY:January 28. I learned of an official Thug-book the other day. I was not aware before that there was such a thing. I am allowed the temporary use of it. We are making preparations for travel. Mainly the preparations are purchases of bedding. This is to be used in sleeping berths in the trains; in private houses sometimes; and in nine-tenths of the hotels. It is not realizable; and yet it... Nonfictions - Post by : trouseredape - Date : April 2012 - Author : Mark Twain - Read : 1753