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A Trumpeter A Trumpeter

A Trumpeter
Is the elephant with the great trunk, for he eats nothing but what comes through this way. His profession is not so worthy as to occasion insolence, and yet no man so much puft up. His face is as brazen as his trumpet, and (which is worse,) as a fidler's, from whom he differeth only in this, that his impudence is dearer. The sea of drink and much wind make a storm perpetually in his cheeks, and his look is like his noise, blustering and tempestuous. He was whilom the sound of war, but now of peace; yet as terrible as... Essays - Post by : 65946 - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 3569

A Partial Man A Partial Man

A Partial Man
Is the opposite extreme to a defamer, for the one speaks ill falsely, and the other well, and both slander the truth. He is one that is still weighing men in the scale of comparisons, and puts his affections in the one balance and that sways. His friend always shall do best, and you shall rarely hear good of his enemy. He considers first the man and then the thing, and restrains all merit to what they deserve of him. Commendations he esteems not the debt of worth, but the requital of kindness; and if you ask his reason, shews his... Essays - Post by : tltfaas - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2627

An Attorney An Attorney

An Attorney
His antient beginning was a blue coat, since a livery, and his hatching under a lawyer; whence, though but pen-feathered, he hath now nested for himself, and with his boarded pence purchased an office. Two desks and a quire of paper set him up he now sits in state for all corners. We can call him no great author, yet he writes very much and with the infamy of the court is maintained in his libels.(1) He has some smatch of a scholar, and yet uses Latin very hardly; and lest it should accuse him, cuts it off in the... Essays - Post by : hbebiz - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1355

A Sceptick In Religion A Sceptick In Religion

A Sceptick In Religion
Is one that hangs in the balance with all sorts of opinions of not one but stirs him and none sways him. A man guiltier of credulity than he is taken to be; for it is out of his belief of every thing, that he fully believes nothing. Each religion scares him from its contrary: none persuades him to itself. He would be wholly a Christian, but that he is something of an atheist, and wholly an atheist, but that he is partly a Christian; and a perfect heretic, but that there are so many to distract him. He finds reason... Essays - Post by : Ken_MacKenzie - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1295

A She Precise Hypocrite A She Precise Hypocrite

A She Precise Hypocrite
Is one in whom good women suffer, and have their truth misinterpreted by her folly. She is one, she knows not what her self if you ask her, but she is indeed one that has taken a toy at the fashion of religion, and is enamoured of the new fangle. She is a nonconformist in a close stomacher and ruff of Geneva print,(1) and her purity consists much in her linnen. She has heard of the rag of Rome, and thinks it a very sluttish religion, and rails at the whore of Babylon for a very naughty woman. She has left... Essays - Post by : extremeweb - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2254

A Contemplative Man A Contemplative Man

A Contemplative Man
Is a scholar in this great university the world; and the same his book and study. He cloysters not his meditations in the narrow darkness of a room, but sends them abroad with his eyes, and his brain travels with his feet. He looks upon man from a high tower, and sees him trulier at this distance in his infirmities and poorness. He scorns to mix himself in men's actions, as he would to act upon a stage; but sits aloft on the scaffold a censuring spectator. (He will not lose his time by being busy, or make so poor a... Essays - Post by : richdan - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1682

A Surgeon A Surgeon

A Surgeon
Is one that has some business about this building or little house of man of nature is as it were the tiler, and he the plaisterer. It is ofter out of reparations than an old parsonage, and then he is set on work to patch it again. He deals most with broken commodities, as a broken head or a mangled face, and his gains are very ill got, for he lives by the hurts of the commonwealth. He differs from a physician as a sore does from a disease, or the sick from those that are not whole, the one distempers... Essays - Post by : e-one - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2223

The World's Wise Man The World's Wise Man

The World's Wise Man
Is an able and sufficient wicked man: It is a proof of his sufficiency that he is not called wicked, but wise. A man wholly determined in himself and his own ends, and his instruments herein any thing that will do it. His friends are a part of his engines, and as they serve to his works, used or laid by: Indeed he knows not this thing of friend, but if he give you the name, it is a sign he has a plot on you. Never more active in his businesses, than when they are mixed with some harm to... Essays - Post by : Exploration_la - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 3305

A Bowl-alley A Bowl-alley

A Bowl-alley
Is the place where there are three things thrown away beside bowls, to wit, time, money, and curses, and the last ten for one. The best sport in it is the gamesters, and he enjoys it that looks on and bets not. It is the school of wrangling, and worse than the schools, for men will cavil here for a hair's breadth, and make a stir where a straw would end the controversy. No antick screws men's bodies into such strange flexures, and you would think them here senseless, to speak sense to their bowl, and put their trust in intreaties... Essays - Post by : jkt777 - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2602

A Plausible Man A Plausible Man

A Plausible Man
Is one that would fain run an even path in the world, and jut against no man. His endeavour is not to offend, and his aim the general opinion. His conversation is a kind of continued compliment, and his life a practice of manners. The relation he bears to others, a kind of fashionable respect, not friendship but friendliness, which is equal to all and general, and his kindnesses seldom exceed courtesies. He loves not deeper mutualities, because he would not take sides, nor hazard himself on displeasures, which he principally avoids. At your first acquaintance with him he is exceeding... Essays - Post by : elion - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 4048

A Pot-poet A Pot-poet

A Pot-poet
Is the dregs of wit, yet mingled with good drink may have some relish. His inspirations are more real than others, for they do but feign a God, but he has his by him. His verse runs like the tap, and his invention as the barrel, ebbs and flows at the mercy of the spiggot. In thin drink he aspires not above a ballad, but a cup of sack inflames him, and sets his muse and nose a-fire together. The press is his mint, and stamps him now and then a six-pence or two in reward of the baser coin his... Essays - Post by : midaspgm2000 - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1792

A Tobacco-seller A Tobacco-seller

A Tobacco-seller
Is the only man that finds good in it which others brag of but do not; for it is meat, drink, and clothes to him. No man opens his ware with greater seriousness, or challenges your judgment more in the approbation. His shop is the rendezvous of spitting men dialogue with their noses, and their communication is smoak.(1) It is the place only where Spain is commended and preferred before England itself. He should be well experienced in the world, for he has daily trial of men's nostrils, and none is better acquainted with humours. He is the piecing commonly... Essays - Post by : 34013 - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2556

A Weak Man A Weak Man

A Weak Man
Is a child at man's estate, one whom nature huddled up in haste, and left his best part unfinished. The rest of him is grown to be a man, only his brain stays behind. He is one that has not improved his first rudiments, nor attained any proficiency by his stay in the world: but we may speak of him yet as when he was in the bud, a good harmless nature, a well meaning mind(1) (and no more.) It is his misery that he now wants a tutor, and is too old to have one. He is two steps above... Essays - Post by : irish67 - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2852

A Young Gentleman Of The University A Young Gentleman Of The University

A Young Gentleman Of The University
Is one that comes there to wear a gown, and to say hereafter, he has been at the university. His father sent him thither because he heard there were the best fencing and dancing-schools; from these he has his education, from his tutor the over-sight. The first element of his knowledge is to be shewn the colleges, and initiated in a tavern by the way, which hereafter he will learn of himself. The two marks of his seniority, is the bare velvet of his gown, and his proficiency at tennis when he can once play a set, he is a... Essays - Post by : nhusss - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1476

A Detractor A Detractor

A Detractor
Is one of a more cunning and active envy with he gnaws not foolishly himself, but throws it abroad and would have it blister others. He is commonly some weak parted fellow, and worse minded, yet is strangely ambitious to match others, not by mounting their worth, but bringing them down with his tongue to his own poorness. He is indeed like the red dragon that pursued the woman, for when he cannot over-reach another, he opens his mouth and throws a flood after to drown him. You cannot anger him worse than to do well, and he hates you more... Essays - Post by : - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 3399

A Player A Player

A Player
He knows the right use of the world in he comes to play a part and so away. His life is not idle, for it is all action, and no man need be more wary in his doings, for the eyes of all men are upon him. His profession has in it a kind of contradiction, for none is more disliked, and yet none more applauded; and he has the misfortune of some scholar, too much wit makes him a fool. He is like our painting gentlewomen, seldom in his own face, seldomer in his cloaths; and he pleases, the better... Essays - Post by : jimfranks - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1945

A Plain Country Fellow A Plain Country Fellow

A Plain Country Fellow
Is one that manures his ground well, but lets himself lye fallow and untilled. He has reason enough to do his business, and not enough to be idle or melancholy. He seems to have the punishment of Nebuchadnezzar, for his conversation is among beasts, and his tallons none of the shortest, only he eats not grass, because he loves not sallets. His hand guides the plough, and the plough his thoughts, and his ditch and land-mark is the very mound of his meditations. He expostulates with his oxen very understandingly, and speaks gee, and ree, better than English. His mind is... Essays - Post by : tkrimo - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 3022

A Down-right Scholar A Down-right Scholar

A Down-right Scholar
Is one that has much learning in the ore, unwrought and untried, which time and experience fashions and refines. He is good metal in the inside, though rough and unscoured without, and therefore hated of the courtier, that is quite contrary. The time has got a vein of making him ridiculous, and men laugh at him by tradition, and no unlucky absurdity but is put upon his profession, and done like a scholar. But his fault is only this, that his mind is (somewhat) too much taken up with his mind, and his thoughts not loaden with any carriage besides. He... Essays - Post by : Russell_Hayes - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 2936

A Constable A Constable

A Constable
Is a vice-roy in the street, and no man stands more upon't that he is the king's officer. His jurisdiction extends to the next stocks he has commission for the heels only, and sets the rest of the body at liberty. He is a scarecrow to that ale-house he drinks not his morning draught, and apprehends a drunkard for not standing in the king's name. Beggars fear him more than the justice, and as much as the whip-stock, whom he delivers over to his subordinate magistrates, the bridewell-man, and the beadle. He is a great stickler in the tumults... Essays - Post by : butch_cassidi - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 3396

An Idle Gallant An Idle Gallant

An Idle Gallant
Is one that was born and shaped for his cloaths; and, if Adam had not fallen, had lived to no purpose. He gratulates therefore the first sin, and fig-leaves that were an occasion of (his) bravery. His first care is his dress, the next his body, and in the uniting of these two lies his soul and its faculties. He observes London trulier than the terms, and his business is the street, the stage, the court, and those places where a proper man is best shown. If he be qualified in gaming extraordinary, he is so much the more genteel and... Essays - Post by : Devslink - Date : September 2011 - Author : John Earle - Read : 1748