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An Everlasting Tall Duel An Everlasting Tall Duel

An Everlasting Tall Duel
After all the vicissitudes, ups and downs of a soldier's life, especially in such a campaign as that in Mexico, there is a great deal of music mixed up with the misery, fun with the fuss and feathers, and incident enough to last a man the balance of a long lifetime. While camped at Camargo, the officers and privates of the Ohio volunteer regiment were paid off one day, and, of course, all who could get leave, started to town, to have a time, and get clear of their hard earnings. The Mexicans were some pleased, and greatly illuminated by the... Short Stories - Post by : mason - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1075

Cigar Smoke Cigar Smoke

Cigar Smoke
Few persons can readily conceive of the amount of cigars consumed in this country, daily, to say little or nothing of the yearly smokers. The growing passion for the noxious weed is truly any thing but pleasantly contemplative. A boy commences smoking at ten or a dozen years old, and by the time he should be "of age," he is, in various hot-house developed faculties, quite advanced in years! And street smoking, too, has increased, at a rate, within a year past, that bids fair to make the Puritan breezes of our evenings as redolent of "smoke and smell," as meets... Short Stories - Post by : poker123 - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3345

Appearances Are Deceitful Appearances Are Deceitful

Appearances Are Deceitful
There are a great many good jokes told of the false notions formed as to the character and standing of persons, as judged by their dress and other outward signs. It is asserted, that a fine coat and silvery tone of voice, are no evidence of the gentleman, and few people of the present day will have the hardihood to assert that a blunt address, or shabby coat, are infallible recommendations for putting, however honest, or worthy, a man in a prominent attitude before the world, or the community he moves in. Some men of wealth, for the sake of variety,... Short Stories - Post by : wildrose - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3117

The Broomstick Marriage The Broomstick Marriage

The Broomstick Marriage
"Marry in haste and repent at leisure," is a time-honored idea, and calls to mind a matrimonial circumstance which, according to pretty lively authority, once came about in the glorious Empire State. A certain Captain of a Lake Erie steamer, who was blessed with an elegant temperament for fun, fashion, and the feminines, was "laid up," over winter, near his childhood's home in Genesee county. Having nearly exhausted his private stock of jokes, and gone the entire rounds of life and liveliness of the season, he bethought him how he should create a little stir, and have his joke at the... Short Stories - Post by : amonaus - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2491

The Tribulations Of Incivility The Tribulations Of Incivility

The Tribulations Of Incivility
"A gentleman by the name of Collins stopping with you?" "Collins?" was the response. "Yes, Collins, or Collings, I ain't sure which," said the hardy-looking, bronzed seaman, to the gaily-dressed, flippant-mannered, be-whiskered man of vast importance, presiding over the affairs of one of our "first-class hotels." "Very indefinite inquiry, then," said the hotel manager. "Well, I brought this small package from Bremen for a gentleman who came out passenger with us some time ago; he left it in Bremen--wanted me to fetch it out when the ship returned--here it is." "What do you want to leave it here for? We know... Short Stories - Post by : noppy - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3298

Mysteries And Miseries Of The Life Of A City Editor Mysteries And Miseries Of The Life Of A City Editor

Mysteries And Miseries Of The Life Of A City Editor
A great deal has been written, to show that the literary business is a very disagreeable business; and that branch of it coming under the "Editorial" head is about as comfortable as the bed of Procustes would be to an invalid. It may doubtless look and sound well, to see one's name in print, going the rounds, especially at the head of the editorial columns, from ten to fifty thousand eyes and tongues scanning and pronouncing it every day, or week--hundreds and thousands of the fair sex wondering whether he is a young or an old man, a married man or... Short Stories - Post by : allink13 - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1777

Pills And Persimmons Pills And Persimmons

Pills And Persimmons
I remember an old "Joke" told me by my father, of an old, and rather addle-headed gentleman, who some fifty years ago did business in New Castle, Delaware, and having occasion to send out to England for hardware, wrote his order, and as he was about to despatch it to the captain of the ship, lying in the stream, ready for sea, a neighbor got him to add an order for some kegs of nails, and in the hurry, the old man dashed off his P. S., but upon attempting to read the whole order over, he couldn't make head or... Short Stories - Post by : petertaylor - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1324

A Distinction With A Difference A Distinction With A Difference

A Distinction With A Difference
A gentleman from "out 'town," came into Redding & Co.'s on Christmas day, and leaning thoughtfully over the counter, says he to Prescott, "Got any Psalms here?" "N-n-no," says Prescott, reflectingly, "but," he continued, after a moment's pause, and handing down a copy of Hood, "here's plenty of old Joe's!" The out-of-town gentleman gave a glance at the pictures, and with a countenance indicative of having been tasting a crab-apple--left!(The end)Falconbridge's short story: Distinction With A Difference... Short Stories - Post by : brigs - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3144

Incidents In A Fortune-hunter's Life Incidents In A Fortune-hunter's Life

Incidents In A Fortune-hunter's Life
We do not now recollect what philosopher it was who said, "it's no disgrace to be poor, but it's often confoundedly unhandy!" But, we have little or no sympathy for poor folks, who, ashamed of their poverty, make as many and tortuous writhings to escape its inconveniences, as though it was "against the law" to be poor. It is the cause of incalculable human misery, to seem what we are not; to appear beyond want--yea, even in affluence and comfort, when the belly is robbed to clothe the back--the inner man crucified to make the outside lie you through the world,... Short Stories - Post by : JohnWilliams - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2342

The Advertisement The Advertisement

The Advertisement
Sit down for a moment, we will not detain you long, our story will interest you, we are sure, for it is most commendable, brief, and--singularly true. A poor widow, in the city of Philadelphia, was the mother of three pretty children, orphans of a ship-builder, who lost his life in the corvette Kensington, a naval vessel, built in Kensington for one of the South American republics, and launched in 1826. The South Americans being short of funds, the Kensington, after years of delay, was sold to the emperor of all the Russias, and sailed for Constradt in 1830. Some forty... Short Stories - Post by : christian1 - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1544

How It's Done At The Astor House How It's Done At The Astor House

How It's Done At The Astor House
People often wonder how a man can manage to drink up his salary in liquor, provided it is sufficient to buy a gallon of the very best ardent every day in the year. How a fortune can be drank up, or drank down, by the possessor, is still a greater poser to the unsophisticated. Now, to be sure, a man who confines himself, in his potations, to fourpenny drinks of small beer, Columbian whiskey, or even that detestable stuff, by courtesy or custom called French brandy,--which, in fact, is generally aquafortis, corrosive sublimate, cochineal, logwood, and whiskey,--and don't happen to know... Short Stories - Post by : anthony1776 - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1954

The Question Settled The Question Settled

The Question Settled
"Doctor" Gumbo, who "does business" somewhere along shore, met "Prof." White,--a gemman, whose complexion is four shades darker than the famed ace of spades,--a few evenings since, in front of the Blade office, and after the usual formalities of greeting, says the doctor-- "What you tink, sah, oh dat Lobes question, what dey's makin' sich a debbil ob a talk about in de papers?" "Well," dignifiedly answered the professor of polish-on boots, "it's my 'ticular opinion, sah, dat dat Lopes got into de wrong pew, brudder Gumbo, when he went down to Cuber for his healf!" "Pshaw! sah, I'se talkin' about... Short Stories - Post by : novedresources - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2201

The Troubles Of A Mover The Troubles Of A Mover

The Troubles Of A Mover
"Mr. Flash in?" "Mr. Flash? Don't know any such person, my son." "Why, he lives here!" continued the boy. "Guess not, my son; I live here." "Well, this is the house, for I brought the things here." "What things?" says our friend, Flannigan. "Why, the door mat, the brooms, buckets and brushes," says little breeches. Flannigan looks vacantly at his own door mat, for a minute, then says he-- "Come in my man, I'll see if any such articles have come here, for us." The boy walks into the hall, amid the barricades of yet unplaced household effects--for Flannigan had just... Short Stories - Post by : lukilady - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2341

Nursing A Legacy Nursing A Legacy

Nursing A Legacy
Waiting for dead men's shoes is a slow and not very sure business; sometimes it pays and sometimes it don't. I know a genius who lost by it, and his case will bear repeating, for there is both morality and fun in it. Lev Smith, a native of "the Eastern shore" of Maryland, and a resident of a small town in the lower part of Delaware, began life on a very limited capital, and because of a natural disposition indigenous to the climate and customs of his native place--general apathy and unmitigated patience peculiar to people raised on fish and Johnny-cake,... Short Stories - Post by : colligan - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3200

The Perils Of Wealth The Perils Of Wealth

The Perils Of Wealth
Money is admitted to be--there is no earthly use of dodging the fact--the lever of the whole world, by which it and its multifarious cargo of men and matters, mountains and mole hills, wit, wisdom, weal, woe, warfare and women, are kept in motion, in season and out of season. It is the arbiter of our fates, our health, happiness, life and death. Where it makes one man a happy Christian, it makes ten thousand miserable devils. It is no use to argufy the matter, for money is the "root of all evil," more or less, and--as Patricus Hibernicus is supposed... Short Stories - Post by : Sasaphy - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 3132

Ben. Mcconachy's Great Dog Sell Ben. Mcconachy's Great Dog Sell

Ben. Mcconachy's Great Dog Sell
A great many dogmas have been written, and may continue to be written, on dogs. Confessing, once, to a dogmatical regard for dogs, we "went in" for the canine race, with a zeal we have bravely outgrown; and we live to wonder how men--to say nothing of spinsters of an uncertain age--can heap money and affections upon these four-legged brutes, whose sole utility is to doze in the corner or kennel, terrify stray children, annoy horsemen, and keep wholesome meat from the stomachs of many a poor, starving beggar at your back gate. There is no use for dogs in the... Short Stories - Post by : Mallan - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2067

German Caution German Caution

German Caution
Some ten years since, an old Dutchman purchased in the vicinity of Brooklyn, a snug little farm for nine thousand dollars. Last week, a lot of land speculators called on him to "buy him out." On asking his price, he said he would take "sixty tousand dollars--no less." "And how much may remain on bond and mortgage?" "Nine tousand dollars." "And why not more," replied the would-be purchasers. "Because der tam place ain't worth any more." Ain't that Dutch.(The end)Falconbridge's short story: German Caution... Short Stories - Post by : kenboy - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 1169

A Yankee In A Pork-house A Yankee In A Pork-house

A Yankee In A Pork-house
"Conscience sakes! but hain't they got a lot of pork here?" said a looker-on in Quincy Market, t'other day. "Pork!" echoes a decidedly Green Mountain biped, at the elbow of the first speaker. "Yes, I vow it's quite as-tonishing how much pork is sold here and et up by somebody," continued the old gent. "Et up?" says the other, whose physical structure somewhat resembled a fat lath, and whose general contour made it self-evident that he was not given much to frivolity, jauntily-fitting coats and breeches, or perfumed and "fixed up" barberality extravagance. "Et up!" he thoughtfully and earnestly repeated, as... Short Stories - Post by : jamesvs - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2411

An Active Settlement An Active Settlement

An Active Settlement
Gen. Houston lives, when at home, at Huntsville, Texas; the inhabitants mostly live, says Humboldt, Beeswax, Borax, or some of the other historians, by hunting. The wolves act as watchmen at night, relieved now and then by the Ingins, who make the wig business brisk by relieving straggling citizens of their top-knots. A man engaged in a quiet smoke, sees a deer or bear sneaking around, and by taking down his rifle, has steaks for breakfast, and a haunch for next day's dinner, right at his door. Vegetables and fruit grow naturally; flowers come up and bloom spontaneously. The distinguished citizens... Short Stories - Post by : Barry_Davis - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 943

The Bigger Fool, The Better Luck The Bigger Fool, The Better Luck

The Bigger Fool, The Better Luck
The American "Ole Bull," young Howard, one of the most scientific crucifiers of the violin we ever heard, gave us a call t'other day, and not only discoursed heavenly music upon his instrument, but gave us the "nub" of a few jokes worth dishing up in our peculiar style. Howard spent last winter in a tour over the State of Maine and Canada. During this cool excursion, he got way up among the wood-choppers and log-men of the Aroostook and Penobscot country. These wood-chopping and log-rolling gentry, according to all accounts, must be a jolly, free-and-easy, hard-toiling and hardy race. The... Short Stories - Post by : imported_n/a - Date : October 2011 - Author : Falconbridge - Read : 2953